Day 2

It was 7am on Tuesday morning. I was psyching myself for another demanding day ahead. Just as I was leaving my flat, I received a text message from Marley:

“Drama. Come at ten.”

After milling around for several hours, I duly arrived at the later time. On entering the Gloucester Road mansion I was greeted by the most appalling stench.

One look at Marley and I knew something was very wrong. His pained expression and the bags under his eye said it all. Had Marley unearthed a rotten corpse? Had a skunk paid an unwlecome visit?

Fearing the very worst, I politely enquired about the -as yet – unspecified drama. With a lamentable tone he replied:

“It’s the dogs. They’re sick.”

So no dead bodies or odour emitting animals then. Something much worse.

Image credit: Flikr – SmartPoodle

It’s not necessary to describe the exact source of the vile smell, but let’s just say that the beloved black poodles had very upset stomachs. The homeopathic vet was obviously not up to scratch.

If Diva and Majic were “sick,” life could not possibly continue as normal. Just as I saw one of the dogs scuttle past, I began to wonder if Marley knew the meaning of normal. At first I thought my eyes were deceiving me, but a second glance confirmed the very worst. Sagging between the animal’s hind legs was an enormous pink nappy. It really was quite an extraordinary sight.

After this incident, I struggled to take Marley seriously. I don’t think I have ever come across a more ridiculous man.

As I was ordered to take the soiled diapers out to the trash, my reaction was a mixture of repulsion and hysteria. But somehow, (and I’m not quite sure how I managed it) I did see the pure comedy of the situation.

I’d obviously underestimated what it is to be a PA.