Well I’ve been lucky enough to attend some highly original parties of late, but when it comes to hosting them myself, I’m still quite a novice.

Despite the best intentions, my parties always seem to go slightly wrong. This isn’t just a recent conundrum, sadly this dates back to childhood.

On my fourth birthday party – my friend Catriona fell off the monkey bars, broke her arm and ended in  casualty.

On my thirteenth birthday party – the innocent idea of a paint-balling party resulted in my friend unconscious in casualty with concussion.

On my seventeenth birthday – too much booze was consumed and my friend Freddie slit his wrist on a broken plant pot. Guess where he ended up? Casualty.